Welcome to the absurd lyrics of pop music Part 1

In a series of posts, we will pair up totally absurd lyrics with a photo to make the lyrics make sense.

In part one, we have a popular song, Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown "No Air"

It's so hard for me to breathe, no air, air
no air, air.

More Clash... this one is self-explanatory

We've all been there

Admit it.

You pride yourself on calling them 'shows' instead of 'concerts' like the rest of mainstream America.

You carefully choose your outfit before each show, being careful to not wear a t-shirt of a band that's playing - preferably wearing the most obscure t-shirt in your wardrobe.

And lastly, you listen incessantly to the band you're going to hear to 'study' for the show.

There is very few experiences quite like attending a show and being able to sing every word back at the band. Hardcore shows are quite similar, except it's much more common for the singer to shove the mic in the 'front row choir's' faces during the singalong parts.

My favourite of the three hardcore shows I've been to at The Globe in Milwaukee was the first Link 80 show. This was in 1997... I still had the mullet and was probably the only one in the small crowd that knew the lyrics to their songs. Accordingly, Nick (RIP) not only took a request from me (the band told me before they played it "you're going to sing it") but came to me to shove the mic in my face for all the singalong tunes, including the song 'Nothing Left' whereas the band stops playing leaving just the solo vocal "nothing to say!" which I got to take. I remember one of my friends being totally floored that all that attention was paid to me, but he studied for the second Link 80 show, but so did many others. During that show, there was a group crowded around the mic for those parts, but Nick did toss me the mic for one song and I held it out for our 'choir' to sing before tossing it back onstage for him. If I remember correctly, his leg was in a cast, so his usual jumping around was inhibited, as was his crouching at the front of the stage to share the mic.

Later that year, we saw AFI at the globe... this was pre-goth AFI, back when their singer still had short hair and didn't need to be surrounded by security. They shared the mic for that show also, but not nearly as much, as there was more of a crowd.

Over his dead body...

I just noticed that the current edition of The Bachelor is subtitled "London Calling."



Anyone else find it interesting, the trend going on here? Ever since Joe Strummer died, it seems Clash references are being made left and right.

Not only are there Clash shoes (which I doubt were made with sweatshop-free labour... although I can't find confirmation of that) but now the Bachelor? For shame Mick Jones. I know it's you.

What about their version of Toots & the Maytals, "Pressure Drop" being used in the Jaguar commercial? It's pure lunacy.

Where have all the rude boys gone?

(Disclaimer: I'm not the type of person who tries to define "punk" and compare every band on some punk-o-meter, but I take issue with the fans)

It seems like just yesterday, when kids who listened to "punk" were all about spitting at the major labels and doing worse towards the bands who signed with them.

The dream for many a "punk" band was to play Gilman or sign to Fat Wreck or Epitaph.

That's all changed now.

Today, we are rehashing the 1980s. All mainstream music is now based on looks and substance is left by the roadside. Granted none of these bands consider themselves punk - look no further than FOB covering Michael Jackson and MCR covering every cheesy 80s metal band there was -- but their fans think that they're "punk."

"Dude, there's nothing more punk that being all for major label control of EVERYTHING!"

That reminds me of the whole BS line Billie Joe Armstrong (I like Green Day, but dude...) fed about "Time of your life" being the most punk song they wrote because it had a string part.

Most lyrical content of FOB, MCR and that Disco band are comparable to Motley Crue, Warrant, Ratt and Kiss.

All songs are about personal gratification and the current dream amongst all these younger bands is to create a fashion line.

I can only say how happy I am that independent labels exist, to allow me to escape the radio and MTV.

My humble opinion on Guitar Hero and Rock Band

So Guitar Hero has been around for a year or so. Kids everywhere are glued to that plastic guitar punching combos to their favorite bands like AC-DC, A7X, Kansas etc etc...In a way, the way you play the game reminds me of an old game for Playstation called Parappa-the-Rappa...Only 82 would understand that. Nevermind.

Anyway, last X-mas brought Rock Band, a totally exciting 'new' way to jam out to bands. You could be the drummer, the singer or the bassist now. But really, are you actually "playing" these songs? First of all, the singer position: The one who chooses to sing, sings to lyrics flying across the screen. Sounds strangely familiar to the infamous karaokeeing that has been going on for decades. Whether you are in a dive on a Thursday night singing karaoke, or in your living room with your 8 year old brother playing Rock Band, More Than A Feeling still sounds the same. The only difference is that you won't get beer thrown at you from your 8 year old brother.

The position that bothers me the most is the drummer. Now I've been a drummer for 15+ years, you'd expect a guy like me to think it was a cool idea to incorporate my instrument. Wrong. The drummer gets four individual pads and a bass drum pedal, and when a drum fill comes up, the pads go from cymbals to toms. Just like in real life! wait, that's nothing like in real life. Die-hard fans of Rock Band boast that if you can play the drum parts on hard or expert or whatever the highest level is, you are talented enough to play in a band. Right, because on typical drum sets, we can click on the tom to turn it into a cymbal, and follow notes and patterns on a screen. Hardly. I like to improve on the drums no matter what the song is, so I don't think Rock Band would be for me. I hardly doubt that's a feature too.

Last year, the kids at where I worked would talk about how they can play such-and-such on expert and get 5 stars! Who really cares? Can they pick up a real guitar and play the song? doubtful. Playing Guitar Hero doesn't make you a musician. It shows that you feel safer playing  the song on a plastic guitar, then going out and learning the song on a real one, which you could probably find a good deal on at the same price Rock Band is. Playing the song in your house is nothing like playing in front of an audience on stage. So Rock Band musicians, put down your fake instruments, and head to your nearest Guitar Center. You'll thank me.

2008 is looking hopeful

So Some of my favourite bands are hitting the studios and releasing new material this year. While I'm listing them, you, the reader should pick up something by them if you have never heard of them. First of all, Hometown heros Decibully should have something out this year. Last time I talked to Ryan Weber and William Siedel, the record is practically done, with some minor tweaks left to accomplish. Weber was in Austria for a good portion of 2007, so the album was sitting on the back burner. I anticipate a release this year with many shows.

No Use For A Name just released a song entitled "Biggest Lie" which will be off their new record 'The Feel Good Album of the Year". It's fast and heavy and has sound similar to their old stuff. I'm a fan of Keep Them Confused, but this song is very cool. Their new album hits stores this year.

Alkaline Trio will be releasing their Goddammit redux reissue this year. 08 marks the 10 year anniversary of their finest album, so they rerecorded the material with a DVD. It hits stores this month. They are also in the studio working on the follow up to Crimson.

My favorite band of 2007 is hitting the studios as well. Lawrence Arms have been getting bombarded with people telling them to please release something in 2008. Looks like they will be recording again, as well as The Falcon minus Dan since he is working with the Trio. 

Flogging Molly's new record hits stores March 4th. They always have something new and exciting with every album.

that's all for now.