Tick Tick Boom! The Hives blow up the Rave.

Pompous Swedish attitudes, sharp clothing, blistering punk rock songs. Who else could I be talking about but the Hives. May 18th they headlined a fantastic show at The Rave/Eagles Club in Milwaukee Wisconsin which goes into the books as one of my top favourite concerts of all time.

 The opening band Locksley came on about 15 minutes late, which pissed off a good amount of the crowd. You could hear the yells "You're late" from some of the fine gentlemen of Milwaukee. The band seemed to have a good response from the ladies though. They weren't the worst opening band in the world, but they sound way better on their myspace.

After a very long period between set ups, The Hives finally took the stage. As soon as their signature red neon sign lit up, everyone took out their camera phones and started snapping pictures. The intro music was an instrumental song from their latest The Black and White album called " A Stroll Through Hive Manor Corridors". They opened with "Hey Little World" which is also off of the new album. Following that was "Main Offender" from Veni Vidi Vicious.  "Main Offender" is one of two Hives songs off that Godawful Rock Band gamers are obsessed with, so you can imagine how excited the crowd got. The Hives exploded a 65-minute set including other fantastic numbers like "Two-Timing Touch and Broken Bones", "Die, Alright!" "You Dress Up For Armageddon" "Walk Idiot Walk" and a slew of others. 

After finishing "Won't Be Long", Howlin' Pelle (which maybe one of the best front men of all time") stated to the audience "One, it was fantastic. Two, there seemed to be a shortage of claps. Three, I will give you another chance to clap louder". The crowed roared and clapped as loud as they could. Pelle exclaims "Okay good, everything is restored to order".

They returned for an encore which included  "Bigger Hole To Fill",  "Hate to Say I Told You So" and "Return The Favour". Pelle asked the audience after finishing "Hate to Say I told You So" "Now how the Hell do we follow up THAT?!", right before going into "Return The Favour". 

If there is one band to see in your life time, go see The Hives. Even if you only know "Hate to Say I Told You So", it's an amazing experience. They interact a ton with their crowd from Howlin' Pelle getting into the crowd singing, to Chris Dangerous throwing out drum stick after drum stick. They are still on tour so if they come to your town, go enjoy yourself.

Uh, what is it then?

Let's talk beer - or beer commercials, at least.

In the seemingly unwinnable war between macro and micro brews, there is a new Budweiser radio commercial that tells us:

...this beer isn't a Bock, or an Ale, or a Cherry Wheat or a Berry Wheat, or a trendy Microbrew - but it is the perfect mix of taste and refreshment.

I wanted to scream when I first heard this commercial. After all, Budweiser is one of the most tasteless beers ever created. Excuse me, it's beer-flavoured water.

But the more I thought about it, the more I felt sorry for them.

After all, Bud-Coors-Miller have been making the same taste-alike product for well over 100 years. Someone once said that it takes skill to make something for that long that tastes consistently like nothing.

OK, I'm done feeling sorry for them. If you're a real beer-drinker, you drink it because it's tasty, not for the buzz.

****

The TV Bud commercial I've been raging about has been the one set in the bar where the bartender - of course, an attractive blonde - educates several men dressed-to-impress on the history of Budweiser. Nowhere, is the loud, obnoxious music normally played in a bar, prompting that bartender to shout "what?" when you try to order. Nowhere is the cloud of smoke that is ever-present in 90 percent of America's bars. It's a really pleasant setting... which would make you actually want a beer you can enjoy. Not Buttwiser.

****

My all-time least favourite commercials right now are the Cadillac commercials that have been running.

http://www.cadillac.com/cadillacjsp/model/gallery.jsp?primary=5&model=cts&nid=1&sid=0&id=4

Apparently, it's some bigname acress I've never heard of in them.

Her monotonous tone just drives me up a wall.

I think, but can't confirm, that she was also in the Cadillac commercial where she lists the things her husband has got her for x-mas or anniversary. Of course, they're high-priced, rich-person things like a country club membership and other crap a typical female wouldn't want. Of course, he redeems himself by getting her the car she's currently shilling.... in that monotonous voice.

Here's another: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4393080544546802938&q=cadillac+commercial&ei=ENYsSLbpJJGcqgPPr-G1CQ

What a great line, "when you turn your car on does it return the favour?"

Ugh, I want to put a baseball bat to her car right now.

Another Cadillac commercial that's not as obnoxious (since she's not in it), but kind of a head scratcher:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=31797597

What exactly does that tag line mean: "...if you're not into all of that, there's just one thing to do - graduate."

I have graduated. I drive a mini-van now.

No flippin' wonder!

I thought it was embarassing that I continue mixing up Miley Cyrus' music with Paramore.

Everytime that "crush" song would come on our local mega-corporate radio affiliate, I'd ask my wife if it were Hanna Montana. "No," she'd mutter. "It's Paramore. I told you that last time."

Well, apparently, they sound so similar because they're BFFs.

Fall Out Boy-Thanks for the Mmrs Part 6

"I only think in the form of crunching numbers"...